Bodhichitta, revisited
I reach for a favorite book to remind myself of bodhichitta.
Comfortable with Uncertainty by Pema Chodron:
On the journey of the warrior-bodhisattva, the path goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed pointed toward the earth instead of the sky. Instead of transcending the suffering of all creatures, we move toward turbulence and doubt whenever we can. We explore the reality and unpredictability of insecurity and pain, and we try not to push it away. If it takes years, if it takes lifetimes, we let it be as it is. At our own pace, without speed of aggression, we move down and down and down. With us move millions of others, our companions in awakening from fear. At the bottom we discover water, the healing water of bodhichitta. Bodhichitta is our heart — our wounded, softened heart. Right down there in the thick of things, we discover the love that will not die. This is the love of bodhichitta. It is gentle and warm; it is clear and sharp; it is open and spacious. The awakened heart of bodhichitta is the basic goodness of all beings.
Blasts from the past
It’s interesting for me to watch how viewers find this blog via the search terms that they use at google, etc. Sometimes I will click on a link in my stat counter to see what is there. Words I wrote three, four, even eight years ago come flooding back. Some of them are in the archives that were imported with my move to Word Press. I must rely on my memory and conversations with my mom and my friends to recall the others (like this one) that are parked deep within my web hosting files behind several layers of passwords. Not deleted, but protected.
One of my favorites, On the Coattails of Fear, never grows old. Pema Chodron and tonglen, a wonderful reminder.
From the archives: The Road to Hell is Paved with Cardboard Boxes
My mom and I are sitting in her house, which used to be her mother’s house. We are reminiscing and both thought of this blog post I wrote years ago. Enjoy!
May 6, 2003 – The Road to Hell is Paved with Cardboard Boxes
I bet you are wondering just what it in all of those cardboard boxes that I moved for my grandfather on Saturday afternoon…
Let me make a partial list of what I saw:
* Toilet paper. Case upon case of toilet paper. Nobody needs that much toilet paper!
* Canned foods of every kind.
* Used paper towels that had been dried flat, waiting to be re-used. For what, I don’t know.
* Cereal. Box after box of cereal. No, he doesn’t eat cereal. Neither does grandma.
* Spark plugs and exhaust system clamps.
* A ream of paper from a company that went out of business decades ago.
* One box marked “sex” that apparently contained old magazines. I didn’t open this one.
* Pairs of socks that he can’t wear anymore because (1) he only has one foot and (2) he can’t wear anything too binding for fear of cutting off circulation to his remaining foot. I should mention that his remaining leg was red up to mid-shin, which is not a good sign for someone with circulation problems.
* Old stuffed animals.
* A single crutch that he got out of someone else’s garbage.
* Old cassette tapes and old record albums.
* A dozen bottles of Afta aftershave lotion.
* More candy than any diabetic should be eating.
He kept thinking of things that he wanted moved on our next visit, “when there are five or six of you here,” he said. He has the garage attic crammed full of stuff too. He wants us to go up there and start bringing it all down. My mother spent one very hot summer day up there. Decades old dust and dirt, she said she coughed up black stuff for a week. Not good for a borderline asthmatic like her. Or like my husband. Mom says that there is no way she is ever going up there again.
When my mom and I were doing what Grandpa asked, she was trying to protect me from doing too much, and I was trying to protect her from doing too much or from lifting anything heavy. He uses our desire to protect each other against us, just to get us to work harder. That’s just wrong. You don’t do that to your family.
As you probably guessed, I get my packrat tendencies from Grandpa.
After this weekend – I think it is safe to say that I am cured.
I guess that is one good thing to come out of a very difficult situation.
A New Year’s Meme
I join Rana in reflecting on 2009.
1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
I attended my first NHL Stanley Cup Playoff games!
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I always make the same resolution and always try to keep it: Practice non-attachment.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Mr. Shameless’s grandmother.
5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed close to home this year, again.
6. What would you like to have in 2010 which you lacked in 2009?
Better financial stability; the Columbus Blue Jackets hockey team playing like they really want to win, every night, night after night.
7. What date from 2009 will remain etched in your memory, and why?
November 13th. My first-born daughter turned 18.
