This morning, I was reading about tonglen in the book Comfortable With Uncertainty by Pema Chodron.
Chodron writes:
“We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person we know to be hurting and who we wish to help. For instance, if you know of a child who is being hurt, you breathe in the wish to take away all the pain and fear of that child. Then, as you breathe out, you send the child happiness, joy or whatever would relieve their pain. This is the core of the practice: breathing in other’s pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness.”
Chodron recommends starting with your self, then expanding your tonglen practice to include loved ones and eventually all beings.
When I first read about tonglen practice, I felt fear rising up inside me. Rather than heed my instincts and run away, I decided to try and discover the lesson that this fear brought to me. Some of life’s most powerful lessons do not arrive on wings of joy but rather on the coattails of fear.
“Why am I afraid?” I gently asked. The answer was startling. “I am afraid because I worry that if I am always breathing other people’s pain and then breathing out goodness and healing, that there will not be enough goodness left for me. Who is going to take away my pain? What about me?”
There it was — the root of so many of the problems in our society.
The fear of scarcity.
It rules us all, even our government.
What if there isn’t enough _______ to go around?
Then you’ve got to cling, hoard, and protect what is yours, at all costs. We look around at others who we perceive to have more than us and we feel envy. We look at countries that we perceive to have more than us and we feel distrust.
What is it about the fear of scarcity that triggers our most basic human nature?
I’ve learned that ego can wreak havoc, so I strive for egolessness. I’ve learned that suffering is inevitable, so I don’t try to avoid painful situations at any expense. I’ve learned that clinging is suffering, so I try to “let go” whenever possible. I’ve learned that the best lessons are the ones that I least desire, so I try to keep my heart open to everything.
When the thought of doing tonglen triggers my fear of scarcity, I try to remember that the more love I give away, the more love will return to me.
I clear my mind, take a deep breath, and begin…
